May: The Big Decision

At the very end of May we took the most important decision of Finn & Orry's London lives: to leave London.

It is a very bid decision, and not at all one that we have taken lightly - even, perhaps, willingly! - but we have decided to move to the Isle of Man. Since it is going to define the rest of Finn & Orry's lives, it is probably worthwhile going into the detail of the decision and why we've taken it...

Firstly, it is important that we are not done with London.
A staple reaction of those, both within and without London, to the news of getting out of the City is that "it will be great for the boys" or that we've "done our time" in the City and are therefore ripe to "get out." All of this is, to me, nonsense.
"When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life" Samuel Johnson said (Google informs me), but I would rather it was: "When a person is tired of London, they're an idiot."
London is, we adults of this household agree, one of the best possible places to bring up children. It is an exciting multicultural environment full of opportunities, both to grow as a person and to make the most of in a way impossible anywhere else in the UK. We are within 30 minutes of everything in central London, by bike or bus: some of the world's best parks, theatres, cinemas, and galleries; the central places of politics, protest, history, art and literature within the UK. It is full of the most vivid and thriving mix of people possible, with the most open-minded and (to us) "progressive" mindset in the UK. To be able to bring up children within this environment and to make the most of it would be to give them the best possible setting in which to become open-minded, liberal, fully-rounded individuals and good people. We could wish for nothing better for our children.
We are not "done" with London, and nor do we think that it is in some way a poor place to bring up children in - that would be mad.

In addition to this, Cori has The Perfect Job; having free reign of the archaeological archive of London to take out and engage children and families with. Roman brooches, Viking poos, Medieval pornography, Shakespearean boots etc. And with people who she gets on with, and under management who trust her, see what she has to offer and encourage her to make the most of it. It is the only job of its type in London, and it is a job that she is perfectly suited for, and which is perfectly suited for her.

There are plenty of other reasons to stay in London: closeness to Europe/travel, friend networks, good school lined up for Finn, good nursery for Orry, easy and stress-free commutes, etc. And we were well aware of all of them.
But we've decided to move.

The main factor, of course, is my new job.
It is a job, in the literature and culture of the Isle of Man, which I had been effectively working towards for years. It is a perfect job for me, and one which I had long seen was the only job that I could imagine caring about or not feeling decrepit in.
I had almost given up hope of the one job becoming available in the one organisation that might offer it, and then it came up, and of course I applied, interview, and got offered the job... Which rather left us with a Big Discussion to be had!

Things had been horribly rushed before the interview - not least because all of my time was used up preparing for a job interview! We found time to pre-discuss the decision before I left, doing the hard economics of the thing and working out what could and what could not work for us. We decided the conditions on which I would say "yes", and those under which I would say "no" to the job. Thus armed I was able to be utterly floundered when the job offer came, in the bracket that the pre-interview-agreements meant should have been turned down. But I didn't want to turn it down.
I was, very reasonably and generously, given a few days to think it over and get back to them. This meant that, with the flight back to London, Cori and I had one hour only in which to discuss it, between dropping off the children at nursery and the 9am deadline.
I have never dropped them off so promptly at 8am!

We talked about it, weighing up the pros and cons, all of which stood just as they had done before the offer of the job, but faced with the question of what I wanted to do, I could only say that I wanted to move to the Isle of Man, for all of the lists of reasons weighing for the alternative decision.
It was undoubtedly an overtly selfish decision, as it was only my case that pushed for the Isle of Man, not Finn's, Orry's or Cori's. But there has not been another job for me in London over the past 9 years, and I can not imagine there ever being one about which I cared. Spending your life doing something you don't care about, or doing something about which you care a great deal, was the decision.
And this was the decision that we took, at around 8.55am, with not a little crying over the things which we were all giving up for the decision.

There is, it should be said, not nothing on offer on the Isle of Man - not by a long way. Family and friends, of course, a wider family to bring up the children in, the promise of greater freedom and a community-led childhood as I experienced, involvement in the life of a place and putting down true roots into a place, the possibility of making a difference to a place etc. There is a lot to be excited about with the move. And, of course, the countryside, the (Manx) culture, the sea, the hills etc.

There is a lot that we don't know about things at the moment, but, now that the decision is made, they are fast moving from problems into being challenges: Cori's job, how are we going to rent the flat out, where are we to live in the Isle of Man, how do we move, what school is Finn to go to, etc. Challenges can be difficult, but often exciting and rewarding (we tell ourselves).

We have a lot ahead of us, but we hope that, together, we can do it, and make the most of it. Make it into something good, just as we did in making our London into something good too.

May: Ambulence terrors again, and the calm of pictures before The Decisions

In May there is the story of the biggest decision governing the lives of Finn and Orry, but first (here), we should clear out the bucket of photos which should brighten the scene somewhat.

Firstly, the monthly side-by-sides:

18 months (1 year 6 months) old

19 months (1 year 7 months) old

55 months (4 years 7 months) old

56 months (4 years 8 months) old

Unlike normal, we failed to take any notes for May, so we are mostly going on the photos which we find now, a month later, as we go to the file, but there are some good ones, such as the boys wearing matching (Brazil) football shirts (thank you, again, Sarah):

Unlike the Brazilian support, Ohio State University is much safer ground, especially for Orry, who probably resembles the body-shape of many good "football" supporters:

Finn also looked "quite the dude" around this time. Indeed, Finn picked up on this phrase and went around telling people that he looked quite the dude, which is quite the phrase for a little dude to have at hand:

As the sunglasses might suggest, summer reached us at last, and we leaped into it with full British gusto:

Two things to consider: firstly, how sticky Orry's mouth (and face, and hands, and body) emerged from that ice-lolly; and secondly, Finn's plaster on his knee in the roundabout picture. In fact, he had a black plaster on each of his knees, for no reason other than that he wanted them on. He looked unusual:

We also enjoyed playing with bat & ball in the park, and having a park to ourselves, which was nice (though it was probably because we went to the rubbish park very close to the exciting one!):

We were also pleased to be close enough to a favourite park to be able to pack up our dinner of homemade burgers and chips and take it all to the park, which was lovely. The boys even got to be in matching dungarees for the occasion.

Finn has actually started to complain about some of the clothes that we put him in, saying that he doesn't want to wear X or Y or Z "because he doesn't want to be laughed at." We have no idea if he's ever been laughed at for his clothes. It seems hard to imagine at his nursery, where everyone seems to be lovely. Perhaps he's picked up from his weekend-when-Orry-naps TV watching that such an opinion is a thing, and applied it to his own life. Hopefully it won't grow too much.

After April's hack at Orry's hair at home, we thought that it was probably time for Orry to join the boys' haircut in the local barbers. As we've discussed in relation to Finn before, they are a lovely bunch of lovely people. After Finn's haircut he got out of the chair and went over to stand near the backroom, where he'd remembered they kept their lollies. The barber duly obeyed the evident expectation and offered him the jar to choose from. As soon as Orry saw what was going on, he toddled over and got himself one also. (Orry has no fear of people where food is concerned!) Lolly in mouth, TV's going, Orry was perfectly distracted and so the first real haircut went without hitch, sat on Cori's lap as the barber snipped away. He emerged looking good:

He now looks very much like the boy he is, I think you'll agree. And I'm glad to say that, after the cut, Cori was big enough to admit that he did look much better, and looking back at the Before pictures show him clearly to look a little ridiculous!

In the barbers, I followed the boys, leaving them to hang out with Cori as I underwent the trimmers. At one point Finn and Orry decided to sit on the step on the open door at the front of the shop, happily watching cars and kicking their heels. The hair-cutting ground to a halt as the barbers got out their phones to take pictures of this cute duo doing their thing. - it was nice to see this bunch of men so delighted by Finn & Orry just hanging out, and it was just another moment of Happy Community with the boys and other in this London of ours.

It was actually in April that we bought new shoes for Finn. Sorry, "trainers" - Finn refuses to acknowledge that he has shoes, and so we have to keep up the charade of calling them "trainers" around him. He was very sad to see the ones with dinosaurs go, but they were replaced with some which light up when he steps.
I think that both Cori and I had vowed that we would never buy such shoes for our kids. But then we also are people who allow their children to choose their own shoes... So the lights came about. At least he was willing to give up on his good old friends, the dinosaur-"trainers":

Before there is the usual long stream of Finn Art Pictures, here is him demonstrating something he'd done on Orry's Etch-a-sketch. I am pleased to demonstrate just how strange Finn is by offering the transcription of our actual exchange:
"Look, Deedah"
"That's nice, Finn, what is it?"
"A dead sheep in a grave watching TV."
"Oh."

Here is Finn showing off his picture of "a Spurs Football Teamer... because you like the Spurs, Deedah, and he's kicking the ball, which is all spikey... and it's a stormy day... but he's not got any arms":

And here is some other great stuff from Finn in May:

Certainly one of my favourite pictures from May is of Finn showing off the first of these pictures (which is a machine of some description - I forget now of/for what (sorry!)):

This picture was taken at some point near 7am on a Saturday morning. Also taken between 6am and 9am that morning were the following pictures:

Although it is lovely to hang out with the boys as Cori catches up on sleep of a weekend morning, they can also be some of the longest hours of my life!

It was also this morning that Orry decided to help me in the editing of Kathleen Faragher's poetry. It was not very helpful, but at least he enjoyed it!

One of things which Finn used to do daily before heading off to nursery was to hide behind the double-doors of the wardrobe at the end of the corridor. These Cori had to open one-by-one failing to find him, until discovering him when opening them at once. Orry was always in the carrier by this stage, so he never got to take part, but it seems to have inspired his newest favourite game - can you spot him?

Cori was also inspired to get out Orry's balls to throw (and sweep) them around the corridor, which was a game which Orry enjoyed immensely (though the picture hardly tells that story very well!):

May includes Cori's birthday, which was mainly spent, like most days, parenting a couple of kids. But it did bring some presents, which the boys enjoyed fooling with:

It had been proceeded by my secretly taking a day off work so that I could clean the house. It might sound like a miserable gift - a clean house - but Cori is the main cleaner of the house, doing it every other Saturday morning when I take the boys off to Dad's Club, so the relief from doing it was a nice surprise. It also meant that she was able to have over two hours entirely to herself without need to do anything else. Now that is an amazing gift! The time allowed her to get started on creating the balcony garden, which was complete by the end of the day:

Finn took pleasure in plucking the lettuce and offering it to us to eat. Orry took pleasure in yanking out whatever plant was within reach and offering it to anyone nearby.

Another part of the birthday treats was our going to see Book of Mormon, instead of work, one day when the boys were at nursery. That was a strange decadence, it feel like we were sneaking off work to enjoy that, and then to emerge in the daylight and have to deal with children. Not really like the old days when we used to be able to go to such things!

For want of a better excuse for putting this collection of pictures in the blog... there were an display of fine head-wear in May sported by the boys:

Admittedly, that last one wasn't actually head-wear, but it was close enough. To make up for the fudge, here is Orry sporting a Cori-sewing-machine off-cut, whilst terrorising everyone with "boney":

And, to finish off the set, here is Finn offering a book as a very paltry hat, and Orry, in response, showing him how it should be done:

On more serious matters, one of the darkest clouds in our sky in May was when Orry had an unacconuted-for pseudo-allergic reaction. "Pseudo" because he had the affect of an allergic reaction, but without having eaten anything or done anything at all which could account for it, which only makes it all the more scary.
After nursery, Cori took the boys to the library around the corner, where they read books for about an hour or so. When Orry started getting snotty and coughy Cori brought them home for their dinner. However, Orry seemed incredibly tired, fighting the wait and crying even as he got food. Cori called it quits on the meal and took him through to bed. But there Orry stopped crying. Indeed, he stopped his usual fidgeting. Taking a second look, Cori realised that he was just lying on his back, breathing heavily and with difficulty. A rash had developed around his ears/neck and on his chest and was quickly spreading. The passive lying without crying, with the rasping breathing was terrifying for Cori, who phoned up 999 and they sent around an ambulance which arrived within eight minutes.
Once in, the two emergency services people gave Orry some Oxygen and airway opening medicine through a mask, which he did not like, but after this his rasping for breath eased somewhat.
By this point, I was home from work. I had missed the call to come back (as I was cycling back at the time) so I cycled into the estate unaware of the commotion going on. Spotting the ambulance and car outside the flats, I had the suspicion that it was for Orry, which was confirmed when I went in the flat and found them around Cori and Orry on the bed (and Finn coming in and out to show them something or other).
They decided that Orry should go into hospital, which is where he and Cori went, with me and Finn waving them off on the street. There they administered more oxygen, antihistamines and steroids, which was to harden Orry against the possibility of an "aftershock" of such a reaction hitting him with more difficulties. But they didn't need him in overnight and they returned by about 11pm or so, very ready for a rest at last.
They never did determine the cause. There was nothing that they could put their finger on as the thing which set him off. It seems that, instead of its being some new allergy or whatnot, since he is of an allergic type, it could be something slight which could just set him off. This was very scary to discover. It means that there is not much that we can do about these sorts of episodes which might happen at any time. The chances of seeing him in his passive rasping-for-breath state again is a terrifying one, and incredibly frightening to think that it might happen under circumstances not so easy to get an ambulance to within minutes.
... But on the lovely side of this event, Finn was fantastic throughout. As Cori was struggling on the phone with the medical services, Finn was in and out getting this and that for her, listening well and patiently, opening the door for the ambulance people, and otherwise being brilliant and helpful. He was showing great attention, evidently knowing that Orry was "unwell" in a way which demanded his top-drawer skills of "being very good." Also, rather touchingly, this also included Finn's hugging Orry and stroking him, saying, "It'll be ok, Orry. There, there, Orry. Oh dear, our poor baby." Amongst all the horror of the situation, this was a very lovely thing to see.
Also on a positive, Finn got to be best friends with the ambulance driver/medic, and he even got to wave to her as they left the estate, as we had walked down to see them off. All very exciting for a Finn. He also immortalised the event with a picture of the ambulance taken from off the balcony:

To shift things along quickly now, it is worth recording that...
Finn and Orry enjoyed having pegs on their fingers...

Orry enjoyed having a dinosaur on his outfit (in the only outing for one of the "cute" things we adore but left too long to get out of the wardrobe):

Orry loves clambering on his mum, especially on weekend mornings, when he's been apart from her for a few hours as she catches up on sleep:

Bathtime is a fight to stop Orry drinking the water which he strangely adores. It doesn't help when they play with the tea set in the bath - even the spoon can be used for supping on the suds:

Finn likes to stop and smell flowers, and Orry is pleased to stop and do the same:

Orry still loves doing the pizza dance!

Everyone loves a good book (and Orry is beginning to enjoy the same books as Finn now a lot more):

Everyone enjoys homemade croissants:

We went on a few outings, I'm sure, in May, but there are only photos from one - our trip to "the indoor jungle" with Lily (with the yellow hair):

It was whilst having a our packed lunch outside there at the Barbican that Lily's parents told us the staggering news that they are to move to Berlin (Lily's father is German, and they had both lived there before moving to London (before Lily)). We were surprised and sorry to hear of their going, as much sense as it made for them. How strange to see our London anchors drift off to other places. Such is London, we find. It is inevitable. We replied to the Moving news with the prospect of possibly having to have that conversation ourselves, but we joked that we weren't actually allowed to think about it, as it was too big a thing to take on without necessity... But that is for the second part of this May blog...

All that's left now is to tell of how Finn has gone through periods of joining us in our bed at night when he (inevitably) wakes up. This shifted, gloriously, to his getting up on his own and going to the loo and returning to his bed happily to sleep. Then came a period when his early-morning wakings were dealt with by his happily getting up to go to the toilet before returning to his bed to look at books. But this started to go astray by his then coming to get us up after he got bored in his bed, which morphed into his just getting us up, which morphed into us claiming an extra 30 minutes' sleep by letting him join us in our bed, which morphed into his joining us earlier and earlier. And it appears that we're edging back towards where we began. At least Orry's crying often acts as a deterrent!

Orry has to have cream spread on him nightly before bed, to address his eczema-inclined skin. Orry enjoys applying it himself. When the cap isn't screwed on perfectly and he is left momentarily on his own before bed, this can happen:

Finn discovered "selfies":

Orry is still a dude: